it's strange, at first, you don't really feel like anything's that different, just that you're putting on a lot of weight. then a lot of your routines and day to day things start changing. like, horse riding? out of the question. hunting, too many stairs, running, eating certain foods. you dont really realize half the shit you do that's not too good to your lower body, like carrying things, etc. it was actually quite frustrating at first, you can ask percy---well. when you get back, you can ask him. i would get upset over the silliest things, and i thought for a little while perhaps that i was perpetually doing something wrong, that i'd never be---ah. invested, i suppose.
and then she moved. and it was a whole different story after that. she was a real person, at that point. and everything seemed like small change after. i could be alone in a room and it would hit me suddenly that i wasn't really actually alone in that room. i started rationalizing how and what she did, like climbing up into my ribs or curling up off to my right side as something she was doing with a purpose. she liked strawberries, and ice cold water. and percival's voice. she would roll about at his voice. and she always kicked for you, you and scanlan, the little shit. not so much for cassandra, but. she came around.
is that what you meant, or did you mean physically?
i thought they mightve not let it happen here, someone mentioned something about it, but. you never mentioned at home.
here i imagine it would complicate matters much more than they already are. i can't imagine being as moody as i was then, here. remind me to tell you about the time i starting actually crying over a missing sock.
yes, i suppose you're right. i've always just sort of felt like it was another thing that had been taken away, but there's no real reason i couldn't, even though i don't wish to remarry.
it can be, if that's what you want. our mother did just fine without our father as long as she did. you don't always need two.
and you know percy and i would drop everything to help you. i'm sure shaun and the rest of vox would as well.
as for the sock, i was so emotional one night doing laundry over a lost sock, i think in the third trimester. i was washing vesper's things, and lost one of her socks. and proceeded to break down in tears, afraid her poor feet would be cold.
that fucked up on being pregnant, let me tell you. percy was beside himself. supportive, but still not my proudest moment.
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timeasmymeasure
here's a shitload of cute headcanon
Date: 2021-06-28 03:09 am (UTC)it's strange, at first, you don't really feel like anything's that different, just that you're putting on a lot of weight. then a lot of your routines and day to day things start changing. like, horse riding? out of the question. hunting, too many stairs, running, eating certain foods. you dont really realize half the shit you do that's not too good to your lower body, like carrying things, etc. it was actually quite frustrating at first, you can ask percy---well. when you get back, you can ask him. i would get upset over the silliest things, and i thought for a little while perhaps that i was perpetually doing something wrong, that i'd never be---ah. invested, i suppose.
and then she moved. and it was a whole different story after that. she was a real person, at that point. and everything seemed like small change after. i could be alone in a room and it would hit me suddenly that i wasn't really actually alone in that room. i started rationalizing how and what she did, like climbing up into my ribs or curling up off to my right side as something she was doing with a purpose. she liked strawberries, and ice cold water. and percival's voice. she would roll about at his voice. and she always kicked for you, you and scanlan, the little shit. not so much for cassandra, but. she came around.
is that what you meant, or did you mean physically?
;___; oh noooo
Date: 2021-06-28 03:14 am (UTC)no, no. that's...exactly what i meant.
i...don't think they...y'know. whatever's...y'know. let it happen here. and...well. at home.
so i think about it a lot, what it would be like, but i couldn't really imagine it, you know? so thank you. this is exactly what i meant.
no subject
Date: 2021-06-28 03:24 am (UTC)what do you mean, at home?
i thought they mightve not let it happen here, someone mentioned something about it, but. you never mentioned at home.
here i imagine it would complicate matters much more than they already are. i can't imagine being as moody as i was then, here. remind me to tell you about the time i starting actually crying over a missing sock.
no subject
Date: 2021-06-28 03:34 am (UTC)not at home, either.
i'm already a wreck here, i mean i can't even imagine, but.
a sock?
no subject
Date: 2021-06-28 03:43 am (UTC)im sure you already know this. but i want to say it anyways, but. you don't have to sign off children just because of vax.
he asked us to live, dear. if you want to have children---even without a partner. if you want to, you should.
alright?
no subject
Date: 2021-06-28 03:52 am (UTC)yes, i suppose you're right. i've always just sort of felt like it was another thing that had been taken away, but there's no real reason i couldn't, even though i don't wish to remarry.
or, well, just marry, i guess.
no subject
Date: 2021-06-28 04:12 am (UTC)it can be, if that's what you want. our mother did just fine without our father as long as she did. you don't always need two.
and you know percy and i would drop everything to help you. i'm sure shaun and the rest of vox would as well.
as for the sock, i was so emotional one night doing laundry over a lost sock, i think in the third trimester. i was washing vesper's things, and lost one of her socks. and proceeded to break down in tears, afraid her poor feet would be cold.
that fucked up on being pregnant, let me tell you. percy was beside himself. supportive, but still not my proudest moment.
no subject
Date: 2021-06-28 07:33 am (UTC)and my father, too, even though i know it was different.
thank you, Vex. I appreciate that.
...that's so cute. you just loved her so much even though she wasn't even born yet. did you find the sock??
no subject
Date: 2021-06-29 11:30 pm (UTC)& of course, dear.
oh i found the sock. four months later, when she'd already grown out of it, of course, but you know. i laughed about it, really.